The Last Templar - A Late Review
I tried to watch NBC’s adaptation of Raymond Khoury’s The Last Templar when it originally aired January 25, but after the second mention of “The Treasure of the Templars,” I fell into a deep sleep that could only be described as self-preservation.
I simply could not bring myself to watch episode two on January 26.
But that was before this past weekend and the misery that it was.
Between Friday and Saturday I smashed my front bumper sliding down the mall’s icy and un-sanded parking ramp, discovered that a project I was planning to be a part of later this year may not be all I had thought, and – the show stopper – I missed an important meeting on Saturday because my wife parked her jeep behind my car and went out of town, taking the keys to said jeep with her.
So … when I saw that NTV was rebroadcasting The Last Templar from 4-6 pm and another channel was broadcasting part 2 from 7 – 9 pm, I said, “Well let’s make this miserable weekend really miserable.” “Let’s add insult to injury, and watch all four hours of this adaptation in one night.”
Luckily I’d poured the last of my 18-year-old Glenfiddich into my special scotch glass, to help numb the pain of four hours of televised crap. With each piece of stiff acting, Templar cliché and inaccurate piece of history, I took a sip of scotch, consuming three fingers of my premium stock before the first commercial break. By the end of the first half hour, I longed for more scotch, or at least a bullet to bite into.
But, setting aside the no-mind-summer-fluff-reading-turned-cheesy-acting aspects of this film, I’d like to point out some of the glaring historical inaccuracies. Not that a made-for-TV movie should be historically accurate.
1. In 1290 the pope was arresting Templars, 17 years before Philip IV actually did.
2. In May of 1291 Jerusalem was in flames, rather than the port city of Acre, which was actually attacked in May of 1291. But, it’s television - Jerusalem, Acre … you know, one of those places over there.
3. The Templars watched Jerusalem burn from their ship, even though it is 50 miles from Jerusalem to the Mediterranean Sea and at least ten miles from Jerusalem to the Dead Sea. Perhaps they had some form of super-high-tech-medieval binoculars to go along with their super-high-tech-medieval-chronometer and super-high-tech-medieval-decoder.
Having now watched all four hours of this Templar Tragedy, I think it was a mistake to air this program on NBC - it should have aired on WTF.
I simply could not bring myself to watch episode two on January 26.
But that was before this past weekend and the misery that it was.
Between Friday and Saturday I smashed my front bumper sliding down the mall’s icy and un-sanded parking ramp, discovered that a project I was planning to be a part of later this year may not be all I had thought, and – the show stopper – I missed an important meeting on Saturday because my wife parked her jeep behind my car and went out of town, taking the keys to said jeep with her.
So … when I saw that NTV was rebroadcasting The Last Templar from 4-6 pm and another channel was broadcasting part 2 from 7 – 9 pm, I said, “Well let’s make this miserable weekend really miserable.” “Let’s add insult to injury, and watch all four hours of this adaptation in one night.”
Luckily I’d poured the last of my 18-year-old Glenfiddich into my special scotch glass, to help numb the pain of four hours of televised crap. With each piece of stiff acting, Templar cliché and inaccurate piece of history, I took a sip of scotch, consuming three fingers of my premium stock before the first commercial break. By the end of the first half hour, I longed for more scotch, or at least a bullet to bite into.
But, setting aside the no-mind-summer-fluff-reading-turned-cheesy-acting aspects of this film, I’d like to point out some of the glaring historical inaccuracies. Not that a made-for-TV movie should be historically accurate.
1. In 1290 the pope was arresting Templars, 17 years before Philip IV actually did.
2. In May of 1291 Jerusalem was in flames, rather than the port city of Acre, which was actually attacked in May of 1291. But, it’s television - Jerusalem, Acre … you know, one of those places over there.
3. The Templars watched Jerusalem burn from their ship, even though it is 50 miles from Jerusalem to the Mediterranean Sea and at least ten miles from Jerusalem to the Dead Sea. Perhaps they had some form of super-high-tech-medieval binoculars to go along with their super-high-tech-medieval-chronometer and super-high-tech-medieval-decoder.
Having now watched all four hours of this Templar Tragedy, I think it was a mistake to air this program on NBC - it should have aired on WTF.
posted by Stephen Dafoe at
8:47 AM
6 Comments:
AMEN! I just finished this program (it took me three days to do so. I like to finish what I start even when it is painful). I am fascinated with all things relating to the Templars. Though I understood it was a 'made for TV movie', I had hoped it would at least be entertaining, if not historically accurate - wrong on both counts! I wish I had tried drinking Scotch. It might have helped. Such potential - such disappointment.
Although you feel there are many inaccuracies in the mini-series, it's not all bad. I found it very entertaining and it piqued my interest enough to search out some websites (including this one) to learn more about the Knights Templar.
Hey stephen,
haven't you heard of Jerusalem-Sur-Mer.
Doug
http://www.roseabsorbtion.blogspot.com
Yes I know, all of it, and more....
the blog is only a small part of the story...
you won't believe me now,(to full of man's wisdom) so look me up when your really old and sick.. in how ever many years you like..
God bless!!!
I reas it on holidat in abit two dreary hours, thank god I discovered Alain Demurger's book of the same title.
I read it on holiday in about two dreary hours, thank god I discovered Alain Demurger's book of the same title.
Post a Comment
<< Home